It’s Okay To Be Not Okay.
How many of you get panicked easily? How many of you are clumsy like me? Do you try your best yet in the end it feels like the world is conspiring against you and your wishes? Do you hesitate to maintain eye contact with people you wanna befriend? Raise your hands up! congratulations we officially got something common.
Hi, from a stranger to another. Typing my story straight from Nepal, I here am sharing with you my perception of why it’s okay to be not okay. But before that, let me tell you a little bit about me and my drawback habits.
I’ve always been that quiet and shy kinda person in the public. In school, though I wanted to explore myself in extra curriculum activities like dance, art, music, etc the shyness and the quiet nature I have had been a huge hindrance. I felt like activities such as dance and music are for cool people. Image an introvert like me tryna hang out with cool extroverts in such an activity club. Even thoughts about the awkward conversation scared me. So, did I give up on my interest? No, I self-taught myself by watching Youtube videos, took an online course, and read tons of blogs on my topic of interest.
I took the long way rather than just getting enrolled in the extracurricular activity club held in my School. Who knows, if I had participated in that club that day, things would have been better than what I had overthought on my head. Who knows I could have made a couple of good friends on the way.
Here, my friend, I learned two important lessons of my life.
1: Being ashamed of my shy and quiet behavior: Back then, I blamed my shyness and quiet behavior for not being able to gather the courage to enroll in that extracurricular activity club. But, actually, it was my overthinking that triggered my fear of being a joke in front of everyone. While there was a possibility of me learning art and dance with people in a fun & friendly environment I chose to learn the same thing alone in my boring bed. My overthinking made me believe that I was less deserving, less worthy, and a weak personality.
2: Embrace me for who and how I’m: Now that I remember that incident, I realize how stupid I was. How much I underestimated myself. But, If I hadn’t had done what I did, I wouldn’t have realized my weak spot. I wouldn’t have even tried to overcome it. Sometimes it’s okay to be not okay. In the long run, when you embrace your weak and strong points you improvise to be a better version of yourself.
I still am the person who stays at a corner table having her coca-cola while all of her friends would be dancing crazily on the floor. Who would hesitate to start a conversation but eventually gathers the courage to do so(see, the power of practice :D )
Who now, has learned to say “yes, I’ll try regardless of the high chance of being called a failure”. Even if I’m scared to get out of my shell and experiment with something new, I’ll dare myself.
Each of us has our insecurities which some of us hide quite effortlessly and some spill the beans like me. But, accepting ourselves with our faults and trying to find good in every bad incident helps in self-growth.
It's okay, You are not perfect but that's applied to everyone. I’ve realized that learning to let go of things that aren’t in my hands helps soothe the situation to some limit.
The before me who used to get nervous, tensed, stressed, disappointed with herself over the day-to-day matters now looks in the mirror and tells her scared heart, “it’s okay, I’ll do my best. If it works out, good. It it doesn’t, well-tried. Life doesn’t end here”.
I strongly believe everyone can be a better version of themselves. Everyone is perfect with their imperfections. If our mindset is positive we can improve even with our weak spots. And remember, it’s okay to cry when you feel like it. It’s okay to share your sorrow with someone, lighten your heart. It’s okay if you don’t know something now, with consistency you’ll in future.
It’s okay to be not okay. Everybody has been in that place. :)
